


Write Your Story On My Heart

by stvrmxra



Category: The 100
Genre: 5x13, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bellarke, Canon, Canon verse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I stg if Murphy dies in 5x13 I’m suing Jason, Memori - Freeform, Minor Memori, minor bellarke - Freeform, zaven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-20 06:25:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15528099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stvrmxra/pseuds/stvrmxra
Summary: After watching the missiles land on their home, Raven tells Shaw her story.





	Write Your Story On My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I’m kinda basing this off of the season finale trailer, so it probably won’t even come close to the show. This is something I really want to happen so much it hurts, and kudos if you like it would be great.

How did it come to this.

Leaving the ground again, after spending six years waiting to come back to it.

Raven had watched the missiles hit the trees from her spot on the ship, and it broke something inside her. When will everyone realize that fighting when they’re the only people left in the world is a bad idea?

She sits now with her head in her hands, trying to cease the roaring monster inside her skull. All these lives have been lost, and for what, for the fighting to never end? Tears start welling in her eyes before she can stop them, and her heart pounds in her chest. 

She’s one of the idiots still fighting. 

After all these years of defying death, the threat is still hanging over her by a thread, and she knows it’ll never go away.

Raven feels a strong arm across her back, and she recognizes the feel of comfort immediately. She continues her cries, not caring who sees or hears. Shaw leans into her side, soothing the pain of the ground away with his calming murmurings in her ear.

The tears stop raining down as hard, and Raven sniffs as she leans into Shaw’s shoulder. Her hand shakes as she intertwines her fingers with his on her arm, and he nestles his nose into her hair and kisses the top of her head.

They sit like that for what feels like forever, and it’s the safest Raven’s felt since being on the ring. People bustle around the bridge around her, but she can’t feel bothered to move. Neither of them say a word to each other, conveying thoughts and emotions without words.

She feels his head tilt up slightly, and she follows his actions which ends up in the both of them staring at Murphy and Emori. The two sit on a bench, Emori crying as her head lies on his chest and her fingers grip his shirt. Murphy’s chin rests on her head, and his fingers fork through her hair comfortingly.

Raven sighs, heavily dropping her eyes closed after the long, terrible day she’s just had. Shaw pulls her into him more, and she gratefully complies. 

She notes the quiet rumble of Bellamy’s voice, and she opens her eyes to see him and Clarke sitting against the wall, his hand on her tear-stained cheek and her hand on his. Their eyes are closed as he leans in and kisses her softly, and though Raven feels she’s intruding on a private moment, she can’t help but want to scream “finally”.

Raven turns her nose into Shaw’s neck, nostrils flaring as she breathes out. The goosebumps that arise on his skin are his response, and she chuckles breathlessly. Why can’t every moment be like this one?

“I don’t want to impose or anything, but what’s the deal with them,” Shaw speaks, pointing his chin at Murphy and Emori who are now affectionately kissing. “I’m pretty sure she wanted to kill him a week ago.”

Raven sighs. “They’ve always been like that. I’m still not sure how they met, but they showed up to Arkadia together, and in their own way have been inseparable since.” Raven pauses, watching the way Murphy looks at the woman before him with unfiltered love.

“I think they tried to tell themselves it was better they were separated on the ring, but it’s obvious they love each other. Their lives were complete shit before, and when they finally had nothing to fight for, they lost each other.”

Shaw glances down at her with an amused look in his eyes, and she blushes slightly. “Sorry,” she murmurs, but she doesn’t really mean it. Murphy and Emori annoy her to no end, but she loves them with all she has in her. 

“And them?” Shaw asks, pushing his chin toward Clarke and Bellamy. 

“I’m not starting with them,” she states, and he laughs quietly, which makes her smile. “They’ve loved each other since they led the original hundred, but neither of them could get their heads out of their asses long enough to realize it.” 

Raven feels his eyebrows crease, and she suddenly remembers that no one told him about the delinquents that were sent to the ground in hopes of a new start on earth. 

Shaw pulls away from her lithe frame, turning his head to look her in the eyes. He studies her for a moment, before asking a question she doesn’t know how to answer.

“What’s your story, Raven?” 

Now her eyebrows furrow as she thinks of how to answer that. Where could she even begin to tell him the story of their lives on the ground?

“Where should I start?” She asks, and he shrugs.

“Start where you feel like it.”

Raven takes a deep breath before starting. “Well, uh, on the ark, there were limits on the amounts of food or resources a family could have. There were strict rules, and if you didn’t follow them, they would send you into space to die. My mom traded my food rations for moonshine, which eventually killed her, and I only stayed alive because the boy next door gave me some of his food.” She looks up at him then, sensing for any particular thought about Finn. Not seeing anything, she continues.

“Six and a half years ago, the Ark started to die. They were running out of oxygen and food supplies, and their only choice was to send one hundred juveniles to the ground to see if the earth was habitable. Finn was one of them, and I was set on getting to him, even if I died on the way down.” Raven sighed, the sad memories of her first love coming back to her. She takes a deep breath and continues, avoiding eye contact with the man next of her. 

“I was the youngest Zero G mechanic in fifty-two years, but I was kicked out of the program for having a heart defect, so I was stuck looking for work. Abby needed to get down to earth too, so we partnered up to rebuild this old scrap ship into a dropship. I fixed it good, but she told me to leave her when the time came, so I left. As soon as I joined the kids, everything was chaos...”

Raven tells Shaw everything, and he watches her intently as she listens and grabs every word. She notices him look at people around the room as she mentions them, and she hears him gasp as she finally tells him what happened to her leg and the surgery that saved it.

She keeps some small details to herself, and she looks up at Shaw every once and a while to see if he’s listening. When Raven starts telling him about Mount Weather, she notices that his eyes get a distant look when she talks about what other people did, so she starts only talking about herself. 

She tells him about A.L.I.E. and how she was the cause of the end of the world the first time. Tensely, she speaks about how she herself had taken a chip to forget the death of Finn and her own body pain. 

Shaw’s eyes soften more than she though possible as she tells him about the AI taking over her mind and torturing her by making her hurt herself. She keeps going with her personal experiences, her eyes tearing up as she gets to the harder things she dealt with. 

When she starts with how they used EMPs to knock out the chip, and how that caused many seizures and was close to killing her, she started to break down into sobs. Raven pulls her hands to her face, trying to conceal the sudden crying. His hands immediately jump to her skin, pulling her into him and squeezing her tight. 

“You don’t have to say any more,” he says, his voice shaking and his own heart hurting with the weight of the things she’s been through. 

“You deserve to know,” she mutters, wiping her cheeks. “I’ll be okay.” 

So she continues with her story. She comes to telling him about how she killed herself and came back to life to stop the brain damage further, and that’s when Shaw finally intervenes. 

“There’s no damn way. No way in hell you died and came back all by yourself.” 

She chuckled and said, “Yeah. All by myself.”

Her words leave a mark, and she hears his gulp beside her. The quickest thing to tell was how they prepared for Praimfaya. The aftermath of A.L.I.E. and the countless hours spent looking for a safe place when they went up to space instead, and how they left Clarke behind to die without knowing she survived. 

After a couple of hours, Raven finishes her tale of the 100, and her body is physically exhausted from reliving her past. Shaw wipes the stray tears off her cheeks, and he kisses her head as he holds her as if she’s a piece of glass. 

“You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Raven,” he says, grasping her scarred hands in his. “You’ve been tortured countless times, hell, you even died and come back to life, but you haven’t let it define you. I could never do what you’ve done. Not in a hundred years.” 

She shakes her head and bites her lip, trying to keep more tears at bay. Taking a deep breath, she exhales as she molds into his body once again. Shaw holds her tightly and carefully, trying to show to her that he’ll always be there to protect her, even though she doesn’t need it. 

Raven falls asleep with her head on his thigh, and he brushes her hair out of her face with a gentleness he never knew he had. There are less people in the bridge now, the ones left mostly consisted of the people from Raven’s tale. 

Shaw somehow feels closer to the people surrounding him, and he knows that whatever trouble they get into, he’ll make sure that they come out alive to tell the story.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still not ready for the finale. That is all.


End file.
